Message ID: bgpero$o8059$1@ID-202214.news.uni-berlin.de
I have been friends with "Sara" for over 20 years. My 2-year-old's birthday party was scheduled for the same day as Sara's wedding anniversary. I told Sara about the party two months in advance, and she said she wasn't sure she could make it because she wanted to celebrate with her husband. I told her there were more than enough hours in the day to celebrate both, but she obviously disagreed because she decided to spend the whole day with her husband at a resort.
This is the second party in a row that Sara has missed. I gave her ample time to figure out a way to come, and I also let her know her presence at my daughter's party was important to me. I am ready to throw away the friendship because of this slight.
Am I wrong?
-- Hurt and Confused in New York
Yes, quite wrong. While it was nice of you to give Sara advance warning, you should not consider the events of equal importance. One's wedding anniversary, and the opportunity to spend it at a resort with one's husband, takes precedence over a friend's daughter's second birthday party.
A true friend would be happy that Sara could enjoy a lovely day with her husband. If at all possible, next year, schedule your daughter's party on a different weekend.
Sara will appreciate your thoughtfulness and be more likely to attend.
You seem to be under the impression that you and your child are the centre of the universe. Allow me to rectify that: In the cosmic significance of things, you are less than a dust particle on the hindquarters of the horse's ass which you undoubtedly are. Where do you get the unmitigated gall to even suggest that the birthday of your child - who probably won't even notice the absence - take precedence over your friend's wedding anniversary? Can you say "spoiled brat"? Your friend, who may possibly be childfree (and even if she is not), is under no obligation whatsoever to join in the worship of your child that you seem to think that you are entitled. The only thing courtesy demands is a response which has been forthcoming - she has other plans. End of Story.
Suck it up, and do so with a modicum of good grace. You are behaving with all the emotional maturity of the chronological age of your child.
Oh, and don't be surprised if your friend has plans for next year, and the year after that, and that you see less and less of her. Take the hint - your friend has no interest in your child. And, if you keep this up, she will have less and less interest in you. I rather doubt that your threat of "throwing away the friendship" will be met with anything more than a sigh of relief considering your sense of entitlement.
Child Free Abby