Message ID: hlfx47-29.ns.sympatico.ca
My mother and father are elderly and well-endowed. All of their children including myself have done OK for themselves. I had children at a young age and worked very hard to raise them well. Now I want to invest in my future and my children's, and I have asked my parents to help out with a small amount of cash. They refused to give me anything and said wait till we're dead and then you'll get it.
I understand it's their money and respect their opinion, but how can I get through to them? By not giving me anything my children feel as if their grandparents don't care what happens to their future. I am torn between the respect I have for my parents and the needs of my children.
-- Needy
Dear Needy:
I guess the phrase "wait till we're dead and then you'll get it" is too subtle? Your parents raised you, and you've done well for yourself. I'm wondering why you feel entitled to get more from them now? You say you respect your folks, but telling your children about their grandparents' refusal is pretty tacky.
Your parents have the right to decide how and when to invest their own money, and whether they endow you or your children should be completely up to them. My belief is that if a person is healthy and able and blessed with family and an education, we are -- each one of us -- responsible for our own futures. If you choose to endow your children, lucky them! But your parents have been clear, and instead of "trying to get through to them," you need to respect their decision.
Dear Entitlement Cow
Your parents are well endowed and elderly. What I can't understand is how you seem to think that you are entitled to anything. You had children at a young age. So what? Your parents are not responsible for your decision to do so.
Likewise, they are in no way obligated to assist you to prepare for their future. By your own words, "you have done ok", that being the case, why don't YOU provide for the future of your children if you feel such a need for it? They are after all your responsibility, not your parents'. Or is the concept of being responsible for yourself and the results of your actions entirely foreign in your little world? Get this through your head, your parents have invested in you already: they raised and educated you, and you are entitled to nothing more.
Telling your children of your parents' decision was spiteful and petty minded. This says more about you and your whining attitude than it does about them. You have deliberately tried to drive a wedge between your children and their grandparents because you, spoiled brat that you are, did not get your way. You say that you have worked hard to "raise them well". Bully for you, but that remains to be seen: if you have raised them with the same attitude as you seem to have acquired, may what ever power you hold holy help you.
Your parents have implied that you will be remembered in their will, and that indeed, was most gracious of them, because YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO ANYTHING. Get that? It's a gift, and no one is entitled to a gift. Truly, I would not be surprised if after your whinging they rewrote their wills to leave it all to the nearest animal shelter as the recipients there would surely be more grateful than you are.
Childfree Abby