Message ID: bn3hnq$sjrne$1@ID-202214.news.uni-berlin.de
My girlfriend, "Tina," and I have been dating for six months. For the most part, things are pretty good. However, she has been more promiscuous in the past than I would like in a partner.
I understand people can change and that we should live in the present rather than dwell on the past. However, I can't forget Tina's past sex life, and at times I find myself consumed by it. I don't want this to affect our relationship, but it does.
Can you offer some advice?
-- Ruminating In Southern California
Dear Ruminating:
Only this: If your girlfriend's past is always going to be an issue for you, it's only fair that you go your separate ways before you waste any more time with each other. No one can change the past, and Tina has the right to be with a man who does not dwell on hers.
What exactly is bothering you here? Is it Tina's "experience" or your perceived "lack of experience" in this matter? Are you afraid of the comparison? What about your sexual history? Are you as pure as the driven snow? Or is that "different"?
Bud, I regret to inform you that virgins are few and far between these days. Think of it this way: given the world in which we live, count yourself lucky that Tina has proven herself to be smart enough to have take precautions that she has no souvenirs of previous liaisons such as STD's and a miscellany of children by various fathers.
To be quite honest, I find your preoccupation with Tina's sexual history bordering on voyeurism. In short, Bud, get over it. If you can't get over it, then do both of you a favour and get out of it. Maybe you will find the untouched virgin of your dreams, but I wouldn't count on it.
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/