Message ID: bn8dts$uf8h2$1@ID-202214.news.uni-berlin.de
I have an 8-year-old son who has recently been removed from school because of some behavioral problems. I am distraught to see that schools care less and less about children.
I have been struggling with the system for years. My son is hyperactive and has difficulty sitting still. I was under the impression that all children under the age of 16 had the right to attend school and be taught. Instead, the school offered me three hours a week of in-home tutoring. What will my son learn in three hours, when other students receive 30 hours a week?
I understand that money is tight, but there must be some kind of help that will allow my son to remain in school. I don't want him to fall through the cracks. Please help me.
-- My Son Is Suffering
Dear Parent:
It is hard to watch our children struggle, but we have to be realistic about what can be done. Is your son on medication? If so, talk to his pediatrician about its effectiveness. If not, please think about it.
You are not helping your son by insisting he remain in a place where he cannot concentrate and where his grades and behavior are so poor that he convinces himself he is a failure. If your local school does not have special classes for ADHD students, you can ask about reimbursement for private schools that deal with hyperactive children.
Otherwise, your son may benefit from that offer of one-on-one tutoring, which will allow him to focus on his studies. He could get more out of those three hours a week than 30 in a classroom filled with distractions.
Please consider supplementing those sessions with home schooling, tutoring, and music or art classes. Meanwhile, contact CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) at 800-233-4050 (chadd.org) for more assistance.
I think that there are two things going on here:
1) there is more to your son's situation than a just a "behavioral problem".
2) that you are in serious denial about said problem.
It has been my observation that with the current "mainstreaming" of what is euphemistically termed "special needs" children, a child usually must display some very seriously disruptive tendencies before they take the drastic step of removing him from the classroom. Usually, when such an extreme measures are taken, the child is a danger to himself and other children.
I think that you have a few things skewed here, it's not that schools care less and less about children, it's just that you seem to think that your son is the only child in it. They have a responsibility to those other children as well. Yes, your child has a right to be taught, but so does every other child in his class, and if your son's behavior is disrupting that, and the school cannot cope, your son must be removed from that environment for the greater good of all. While your son is entitled to a basic education, he is not entitled to disrupt/endanger his classmates.
You have to realize this - schools would be more than happy to have your child in class - it is less expensive to educate your child in that setting. However, your son's"behavioral problem" makes that impossible. The school is helping you all they can, but now you have to take up the slack.
Childfree Abby
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