Message ID: bq3fl2$1tdskr$1@ID-202214.news.uni-berlin.de
I am a divorced female with two children. I work full time to support my kids. I had a live-in boyfriend who decided that he does not want to live with me, but still wants to be with me. We have problems with him helping to pay the bills. Now he doesn't want to live with me but comes over to stay the night. My question is, should I get out of this or should I try to make it work?
-- Marie
Dear Marie:
Seeing as how you already have a shiftless boyfriend, I don't want to make your life any harder by piling on, but I urge you to think about your kids here. When you expose them to unstable or unhealthy relationships, they are learning all the wrong things about how to behave.
If you take a hard look at this and put your kids' welfare at the center of your decision, you'll know exactly what to do.
Should you try to make it work? Should you try to make what work? I really am hard pressed to figure out, realistically, what you are getting out of this relationship. As far as I can see, the sum and total of it is the occasional roll in the hay. Now, if that's all you want out of it, by all means continue. However, if you want more out of this guy - like emotional support, pulling his share of the financial burden, and a life partner, I suggest that you pull your head out of where the sun doesn't shine and look elsewhere.
This guy doesn't want a relationship - he wants a booty call. Whatever you do, don't "oops" the guy because you think he will change once the baby is here. He won't.
Should you decide to stay in this relationship the only thing I can say is that I hope the sex is worth it.
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/