Message ID: 2ijtrcFn4f0nU1@uni-berlin.de
I invited a neighbor to my son's bar mitzvah. I did not invite their children, who are 8 and 6.
When they RSVP'd, they said that all four of them were attending. What can I do?
-- On The Spot In New Jersey
Dear On The Spot:
You welcome them graciously. I am surprised that you excluded the children in the first place, since a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah usually includes children.
My esteemed counterpart has erred dramatically. While Childfree Abby is not in a position to dictate whether a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah is an "adults only" affair what she does know is this:
An event is whatever the Hosts decide it to be, and an invitation is only for those whose names are on it.
There may be many reasons why you chose not to invite your neighbours children, and they may include the expense, the fact that the children may well be uncivilized hellions who will ruin the affair, or the fact that your children aren't that close to hers.
Your neighbour is an entitlement-minded moron. Call them, and explain that you had not counted on the added expense of two more guests, and that while you would be happy to enjoy their presence (even if you are not) that it would be best if they found a sitter.
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/