Message ID: 2j5tliFtmhq6U1@uni-berlin.de
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, long-distance. We visit whenever possible and plan to live together soon. My problem is, he doesn't trust me. Although I have assured him that I am devoted to him and always have been, he continues to accuse me of seeing other guys. He says he has a "gut feeling" about it. He says I treat my friends, and even strangers, better than I do him. I don't feel that way.
I'm afraid to answer the phone or have contact with people for fear that he will get jealous because he's not the center of attention. He has read my e-mails more than once, checking for evidence. I suspect he may have hacked into my computer. Is there any hope?
-- Innocent And Faithful In L.A.
Dear Innocent And Faithful:
No. If you are smart, you will keep your relationship with this young man long-distance. You have described a person who is potentially an abuser. His actions are obsessive and controlling. Even if you live together, you will never be able to fill the bottomless pit of his neediness and insecurity. My advice to you is to end the relationship.
I have to agree with my esteemed counterpart. Drop this loser. Believe me, looking over your shoulder and walking on egg shells is no way to have a relationship, and no way to live. He is an insecure asshole who is abusive, paranoid and probably a stalker.
The next time this guy says something about his "gut feeling", tell him that your "gut Feeling" tells you that he is not secure enough to be in a relationship with you. Then end the relationship. Period. And be prepared to change your phone numbers and be stalked.
Childfree Abby
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