Message ID: 2ju5ubF15im4bU1@uni-berlin.de
How do you handle a mom who feels the need to constantly correct other people's kids when the child is already being corrected by their own mother? I have a mom in my playgroup who thinks it's her mission to discipline every child. I can understand the need to intervene when it's a safety issue, but what's the protocol if it's simply a behavioral issue? -- Duchess of Discipline
Dear Duchess:
Perhaps you could train your child to say, loudly, "You're not the boss of me!"
Or you could say it.
The next time she does this, why don't you shoot her a look and say, "Thanks, but I'll take it from here." If that doesn't work or if she's a repeat offender, just go ahead and tell her that you want to handle your child's discipline yourself.
The fact is, you'll see as your kids age that there are times when it is helpful for another parent to step in, but you should be the one to decide.
As everyone who has had a child is fond of simpering whenever touting some perceived benefit for said child at the expense of everyone else: "It takes a village to raise a child." Yet, when someone other than the parents raises their voice about the behaviour of said child - wonder of wonders, the child becomes "private property" again.
I am all for parents being responsible for the correction and discipline of their children. Unfortunately, there are a great many parents who seem to abdicate this responsibility, and take umbrage when someone else tries to take up the slack.
If someone is treading on your proverbial toes about a point of behaviour, remove your territorial blinders ask yourself seriously how effective your parenting happens to be. Just a thought, but perhaps your attempts at the correction of the "behaviour problem" is not having the desired result, namely the cessation of the unacceptable behaviour. As in the training of any creature, from dog, to yes, child, the key is consistency. Children want and need boundaries, and there are a lot of parents who are afraid to set these boundaries, in any consistent manner, or at all.
Just remember, a "behaviour problem" can become a safety issue in the blink of an eye.
Childfree Abby
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