Message ID: 2ko0q1F4j167U1@uni-berlin.de
I have a sister with two children ages 2 and 4. I love them all dearly.
The problem is that my sister does not discipline her kids. They don't believe in saying "no" to the children. When they come to anybody's house they do whatever they want, play in the bedrooms, in the bathrooms and destroy everything. The parents clap their hands and say, "You are so smart!"
All of this is causing a lot of friction in the family, and no one wants to speak up.
How should I handle this problem?
-- Angry Aunt
Dear Angry:
Let me do some very basic math for you:
A 2-year-old + a 4-year-old = a lot of trouble. Any way you slice it, that's a killer combo, so please keep your expectations reasonable.
I hope that when these children come over, you do some very basic "child proofing" such as securing doors to rooms that they shouldn't wander into. The bathroom, for instance, should be completely off-limits because it contains so many hazards for them, not to mention possible "weapons of mass destruction."
It would also be nice if you had a basket of toys and books for them to take out and explore while they're visiting.
You should also tell your sister very clearly, "I really don't want the kids to run amok while they're here -- I worry that they might get hurt. Can you watch them more closely?" If she doesn't, then you need to think about whether you care to have these children visit in your home while they are so young, destructive and poorly supervised.
This is so easy to deal with I wonder why you haven't thought of it yourself.
If they are running wild, destroying the house - don't invite them. If they show up at your door, don't let them in. If you do, tell the parents in no uncertain terms that they are responsible for any and all damage caused by their children. Period. Full Stop. And stick to your guns.
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/