Message ID: 2llnipFe2ecqU1@uni-berlin.de
I've grown attached to a woman I respect and admire. We'd love to get married. But due to some vaginal infection and surgery during her childhood, she was left with only half of one ovary.
Neither my doctor nor others I've asked can give me a straight answer as to whether she'll be able to get pregnant and have children.
I'm torn and heartbroken, as my parents would love to have grandkids, and I'd love to have a child. We've cried about this together. Should I say goodbye?
- WANNABE DAD IN CHICAGO
DEAR WANNABE:
"Goodbye" is an exit, not a solution. Would you expect her to run if you had a low sperm count?
Get to an obstetrics specialist: You'll learn that the ability to conceive depends on her age and the amount of ovarian tissue present. And there are options like using a donor egg through in vitro fertilization.
But if you're looking to marry a womb to please your parents and fulfill a personal goal, you're not ready to support her emotionally through the testing and weighing of alternatives.
Look inside yourself first, because you've failed to mention whether you love her.
Concerned that she can't produce eggs, he's chickening out
July 14, 2004
BY ELLIE TESHER
I think you should say "goodbye" to this woman. Immediately, if not sooner. Since you only value her as a receptacle to receive and incubate your holy sperm, you obviously do not value her as a friend, lover, companion - or for that matter, a human being.
However you sign your name, you don't really want to be a parent. You don't even consider the option of adopting. You just have to have a replicant of your undistinguished DNA for some sort of ego gratification.
Spare this woman further agony and the disappointment of loving some jerk who only values her as a uterus on legs.
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/