Message ID: 2te1bbF1spiekU1@uni-berlin.de
I am a mother of two. I recently learned that my 16-year-old daughter, "Rene," is pregnant.
When she told me who the father is, I discovered she had been having an affair with my live-in boyfriend, "Leo." It was devastating. I am engaged to marry Leo, and I still love him.
I made Rene move out. I know this seems harsh because she is pregnant, but I feel I can have a good relationship with Leo only if Rene is not around. I don't mean to choose him over her, but Rene is my daughter, and she should have known better.
What do you think I should do? I don't want to disown her.
Also, I want to raise Rene's baby as my own, and this infuriates her. Who is wrong?
Please give me your insight.
CONFUSED in Canada
Dear Confused:
Please reorganize your priorities. Your duty is to protect your children. Leo is an adult. Your daughter is only 16. Leo has far more experience. Your fiance is a predator who may have pursued you in order to get close to your daughter. You say you have two children. Is the other child a daughter, too?
It's time to show your fiance the door and call the police. Rene should stay with you until she's able to complete her education and care for herself and her baby. And Leo should help to financially support the child until it is an adult.
DEAR ABBY
Pregnant daughter gets booted by jealous mother
Universal Press Syndicate
You are not confused, you are one of those pathetic wastes of skin who would sacrifice her children just so she can say she has a "Mayyn" in her life.
Let's get this straight: your problem wasn't your daughter. Your problem is that predator you moved in with. If Romeo wasn't fucking around with your daughter, he would (and will) be fucking someone else. and that includes your other child, if it happens to be a girl - it's only a matter of time.
While you are blaming your daughter for this, let me remind you that Romeo is the Adult here, and therefore he is the one in control of this situation. Even if, on the outside chance, your daughter came on to him, he is *still* the adult and should have put a stop to this. Furthermore, there are also a few other things that you should be aware of: although the age of consent is technically 14 in Canada, this is sexual exploitation and that is punishable under the law. Now, depending when Romeo moved in, if he started having sex with her under the age of 14, then he is guilty of sexual assault, and should be charged.
And this A$$Hole is still living in your home? Give me a break!!
Now let's look at this further, your daughter is pregnant with your fiancé's child, and you've thrown her out. Not him. Her. And now you want to take her child? And you can't figure out why this infuriates her? Give your head a shake! It might help you see just how stupid you look.
Now, as to your daughter. An abortion is probably the best solution. However, while abortion is legal in Canada, getting one is easier said than done. There are very, very few free standing abortion clinics in Canada and its hard to find a hospital where they are performed. Furthermore, only first trimester abortions are legal (there may be some leeway if the pregnancy is endangering the mother's life). If abortion is not an possible, that child should be put up for adoption, as far away from you and Romeo as possible.
To be honest, if I were your daughter, I'd be disowning you, no matter how this turns out. You've chosen some worthless A$$hole over your child, and even if you throw him out, the probability is really high you'd choose some other equally worthless A$$hole to take his place.
Childfree Abby -- disgusted
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