Message ID: 30rk0pF33jtkvU1@uni-berlin.de
Our son is 8 months old, and my wife is busy planning his first birthday party. The party will be in February, which makes it too cold for anything outside. She plans to invite 50 guests, including children.
She wants to rent a hall and have the party catered. Is this too much for a first birthday party? We're saving for a new house, and what she has in mind will be expensive.
My wife says I'm cruel for not supporting her idea of a big bash. Am I being a curmudgeon?
-- Sensible in Norristown, Pa.
Dear Sensible:
You're not a curmudgeon - you are someone who has his eye on a goal and hasn't lost his perspective. The party your wife is planning is really for her, not the baby. All a child that age needs for his birthday is his mommy, his daddy and a few close relatives to celebrate the occasion.
I quite agree with my esteemed counterpart. A party of this magnitude is way out of proportion for the event that it is supposed to be celebrating and is in extremely poor taste. Your wife has lost all perspective in this matter.
At one year of age, your son will not even remember this occasion, let alone who was there and where it was celebrated. To be honest, the more I ponder this, the more uneasy I become. Your wife is showing a streak of narcissism / egocentric behaviour that does not bode well for your future together, or for her ability to be a good parent. My guess is that she is one of those women who started wearing maternity clothes at 8 weeks, and behaved as if this pregnancy was a very narrow second place to the birth of Jesus, with herself starring as "holy mother". Now the baby has arrived, the spotlight has diminished, and she is frantically grasping this opportunity to restore the glamour.
If you do not nip this in the bud, this will be but the very first of the outrageous extravagances that will eventually drain your bank account, and reduce your role in this marriage to that of "walking wallet".
Childfree Abby
The ChildFree Abby Archives - http://www.dismal-light.net/childfreeabby/