Childfree Abby - You are more than the sum of your uterus11 December 2004Message ID: 320hpmF3gs5dmU1@individual.net
Dear Abby: I am a 26-year-old female in the Navy. I have been divorced for two years and have two beautiful little boys. Last February, I met a man and I have fallen head over heels. He's great with my boys and wonderful to me. He has expressed that although he loves my kids, he also wants children of his own. My problem: I had a tubal ligation after my youngest was born, and now I regret it. I think this is the only thing that is preventing us from going to the next level. What should I do? -- Helpless In Washington Dear Helpless: Call your ob-gyn and ask if the tubal ligation can be reversed. It is sometimes possible to reverse the procedure. If it is not possible, consult an infertility specialist. There is more than one way to become a mother.
Dear Helpless, Scrape off the cotton candy froth and take a good hard look at this relationship and this man. If the only thing that is keeping you from going on to the "next level" is a tubal ligation, he values you more as a uterus on legs than he does as a friend, lover and companion. Consider this: What if you did not have a tubal, and were, in fact, infertile and he dumped you. I think that you would feel that he is a complete jerk if he did. Or, what if his "'lil' swimmers" were non-existent? Would you dump him? Frankly, I doubt that you would. To be quite honest, somebody who insists that the two of you need one of your own, is more interested in displaying "ownership". Dump this guy and get on with your life.
Childfree Abby
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