Childfree Abby - Can You Spell Ulterior Motive?19 December 2004Message ID: 32mdhmF3njq6mU1@individual.net
Dear Abby: I met someone almost a year ago. "Donald" and I dated for several months, but it ended badly. A few months ago, we started communicating again -- and I thought everything was going well. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped calling. We were intimate each time I saw him. Now I am pregnant. Abby, I'm 44 and have never had a child. Donald is 50 and has never been married or fathered a child either. I have left him several messages since I learned I was pregnant and have asked why he hasn't returned my calls. He has not contacted me. I feel absolutely abandoned, hurt and betrayed. Donald is a wealthy playboy, and sometimes extremely selfish. I want this child but need some sort of acknowledgment from him. What should I do? -- Shocked, distraught and pregnant in Ohio DEAR PREGNANT: Pick up the phone and make one more call -- to an attorney. It will be a good investment. You may feel hurt, abandoned and betrayed, but I see child support in your future. It's time for the daddy-to-be to step up to the plate.
Dear Pregnant, Pregnant you may be, but I really can't imagine why you would be shocked and distraught. You are 44 years old and I feel pretty darn sure that you know that babies are not found under cabbage leaves. You had broken up with "Donald" and had only recently "gotten back together". It doesn't take an Einstein to realize that this relationship was on ground so shaky it might as well have been built on jelly. That said, you had unprotected sex with someone who, as I see it, really didn't have any interest in pursuing a serious relationship with you. I really have no doubt that at the moment the stick turned blue, you thought you had hit the jackpot and this glorious bit of news would win "Donald" over and "bring him around". The only difference between you and some 17-year-old bimbo who thinks "I'm carrying his baby, he won't leave me now" is that the stakes are higher - "Donald" is wealthy. Both of you are wrong. He can. He quite often does. Having a child doesn't cement any relationship. Period. I have to give you credit though - at age 44 it is difficult, though (obviously) not impossible to get pregnant. Your eggs are past their "best before" date, and with this child you could risk far more complications than you want to acknowledge. Have you considered the possibility of Down's Syndrome? Or worse? Would it matter to you so long as you got access to a wallet? Now, I have to deliver a well-deserved whap on the side of the head to Donald for being so foolish as to dip his wick without a wet suit, or getting the big V. By neglecting his responsibility, he lost any say he had in the outcome. You can - and probably will - get child support. But the child won't have a father.
Childfree Abby
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