Childfree Abby - You're not thinking with the Big Head28 December 2004Message ID: 33diteF3voimrU1@individual.net
DEAR ELLIE: Stop me if you've heard this one before. I'm 27, living with my girlfriend, 25, for one year. She's been on and off the Pill. Recently, she went back on, but, for the past six weeks, we've had no sex, and no intimacy. We live together more as friends. I want to stay together. She says it's a hormonal problem. I don't know much about a woman's system. Would it be foolish for me to break up over a small time frame of no sex? Do you have any advice on what I should do? I miss her, yet we sleep in the same bed! -- SEXLESS DEAR SEXLESS: You can bet I've heard it before, wherever women gather. You see, those pills don't just turn the conception valve off and on -- they affect our hormones and hence our moods, weight and more. They can cause nausea, bloating, headaches, breast tenderness, bleeding; and they can cause decreased libido. The one good thing about your reaction is that you acknowledge what you don't know about women and want to be informed. But the idea of breaking up over six weeks of abstinence is a really bad one, and makes me question what you think a relationship is all about. She's taking the health risks of birth control (small increased possibility of breast cancer and blood clots) in order to be with you. It's up to you to support her, understand her discomfort from side effects, encourage her to see her doctor, try a different dosage or consider an alternative birth control route. And while you're in that same bed, some comforting and hugging would go a long way to say you're with her for more than the sex. Get more informed about how physiological and emotional factors affect your partner: Visit the U.S. Health and Human Services Department's National Women's Health Information Center Web site at www.4women.gov.
Her birth control a bitter pill for him to swallow
Dear Sexless, Well, you are right about one thing - you are ignorant, and pretty thoughtless too. Like my esteemed counterpart, I also have to question what you think a relationship is all about. From your letter, you seem to think that the main reason for being in a relationship is to get laid regularly. Let me give you just a bit of education besides what my counterpart suggested - birth control pills are not fully effective as a contraceptive for at least 4 weeks (1 cycle). Here's a novel thought, sport: why don't you assume at least some of the responsibility for the birth control? Condoms, remember them? Or how about a vasectomy? Or is that just "women's work"? Believe me, dude, if she's having problems, and the only thing you can focus on is the fact that you're not getting your rocks off, you are a pretty pathetic excuse for a partner.
Childfree Abby
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