Childfree Abby - You Got Trouble02 March 2005Message ID: 38n75mF5o10vvU1@individual.net
Dear Annie: I've been with "Ryan" for five years. We both were married before, and we each have a child from those marriages. Ryan's 15-year-old daughter, "Beth," comes to visit every other weekend and for the entire summer. During her visits, she never leaves his side. Beth has her own room, but during her weekend visits, she sleeps in our bed. Over the summer, Beth demands that we not close our bedroom door at night. On top of that, she stays up until it is time for all of us to go to sleep, so we never have a moment without her. Beth needs to know where we are every second. If she takes a shower, as soon as she gets out, she asks what we were doing while she was out of the room. Due to all this interference, sex is nonexistent. We are never alone, and with the bedroom door open, we can't be intimate because Ryan thinks she will hear. Beth is a very mature 15-year-old, and I think there should be rules for her to follow, as there are for my child, and that Ryan should put his foot down when she makes these unreasonable demands. I have expressed my concern, but he says she is here only a short time and we should put up with it. What do you say? -- His Partner Dear Partner: Ryan is allowing Beth to control your relationship, and she is doing everything in her power to prevent you from having sex. Of course, Ryan should set some rules, and the first one is that you are entitled to some privacy. More importantly, no 15-year-old girl should be sleeping in her father's bed. No matter what else Ryan is willing to tolerate, that should end immediately. If Beth won't accept your relationship, and Ryan refuses to set rules, you have some choices to make: You can put up with it, let Ryan stay home with her this summer while you take a trip somewhere fun and relaxing, or rethink your relationship. The problem is not going to disappear.
Dear Partner
You got trouble, you really got trouble,
That starts with "T", and rhymes with "B"
And that stands for "Beth". Well, you also have problems with Ryan, too. If Beth, at 15, is sleeping in your bed with her father and he refuses to do anything about it: Pack your bags. Beth is playing a very vicious game, is obviously a master manipulator, and is a very sick girl. Does her mother know about this state of affairs? Is it Ryan, who in even suggesting that you put up with this, is both spineless and a fool? Believe me, if it has gone on this far, you can't win. Ryan won't put his foot down, and no matter what you do you will be the bad guy. Pack your bags and get while the getting is good. This situation is too sick for words.
Childfree Abby
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