Childfree Abby - Too Old For A Third Child?06 May 2005Message ID: 427b8d72_1@x-privat.org
Hi Abby I am 42 years old (43 in July) and have two gorgeous boys (6 and 7 years old). I have always wanted a third child (possibly a girl?) but my husband has been very much against it. However, recently he has changed his opinion and thinks he might be ready for another baby (my husband is 45). Rather than just going for it mad with happiness I find myself constantly calculating how old I will be when this child finishes school or university. Will I be able to support this child well into adulthood? I needed my parents off and on until my thirties. I am confused. We have a very comfortable life and no money problems. Please give me your opinion. -- Lia
Dear Lia, In the end, no one can make this choice but you. However, you have asked for my opinion, and since you are no doubt well aware of my particular stance on parenting, here it is: I have never ever been able to understand having children as a form of ego gratification. However, I am heartened that you are at least evaluating the potential cost of having another child. Should you have another child now, you will likely be around 60 years old by the time it leaves secondary school. Your husband will be older. You have two children already. Why rock the boat? While you have no financial problems - now - that can change, and at any moment. Marriages fail, health issues arise, the economic bubble bursts. Here is the real kicker: You have admitted that you lived off your parents until your 30's. Are you capable of supporting the children that you have by yourself - let alone another - should the need arise? In my opinion, you should try finding some fulfilment other than through being a mommy.
Childfree Abby
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