Childfree Abby - Dining Out19 July 2005Message ID: 42dd245a$1_3@x-privat.org
Hi Abby This should be an easy one for you. :) My wife and I are in our 40s, CF and happy to stay that way. While we both notice and are annoyed by ill-behaved children when we go out to eat, I'm getting more and more annoyed by it. In most instances, I can see other patrons visibly disturbed by the child's behavior, but I feel most of them are just being nice and don't want to say anything. Quite often, I'm feeling compelled to speak up nicely and ask that they quiet the child or take it somewhere outside the dining area. Is there a way to do this that will not provoke an argument? The last thing I want to do is ruin a perfectly good meal by getting into a battle of words with someone, but I'm getting tired of every meal outside our home being punctuated by screams, squeals and the banging of silverware on tables and plates. Thanks for your advice. -- mike
Dear Mike, Fist allow me make the assumption that you and your wife are not dining at some place that caters to the "family crowd" such as "Chucky Cheese". Now that said, do not take matters into your own hands no matter how great the temptation to correct the child and its parents in the true meaning of the term "It takes a village". That is a battle you will surely lose. This is what you do: contact your server, ask to be moved to another table further away from the source of your annoyance. If you do not get satisfaction from your server, go up the line - ask to speak to the manager. Explain, in deadly calm and reasoned tones, that when patronizing the establishment in question you are paying not only for the food but also for the ambience in which to enjoy the meal and the company of your dinner companion(s). Further explain, if by chance it is not clear to this person, that your dinner companions do not include yonder pack of howler monkeys. You may, if you choose, point out to this person that you are paying full price for your meals, including drinks, wine and possibly desserts and that should rate some consideration. Ideally, at this point, the manager should approach the offending party and deal with the problem. If the manager fails to do so, this is when you must do something. If your meals have not arrived, cancel your order and leave. If your appetizers have arrived, pay for the appetizers, and leave. The one thing a business understands is money - if they lose business, they will pay attention. Suffering in silence is not an option, if we want change. Silence causes the childed to believe that they have carte blanche in these situations because no one dares to hold them to account for their actions, or in this case, their inaction in controlling their children in a public place. Speak up! Speak up in a calm and rational manner, and if need be, vote with your feet. Always, though, let them know why you are leaving.
Childfree Abby
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