Childfree Abby - Why are you doing this?28 September 2005Message ID: 11jles06g23ge83@news.supernews.com
Dear Annie: My sister's granddaughter, "Nina," is getting married. My sister's entire family lives 600 miles away, and I've seen Nina twice in her life. When she was a teenager, I tried to get to know her better, even inviting her to come to Europe with me. She turned down all my requests, so I gave up. When Nina graduated high school, I sent her a generous check. It was cashed, but I never received a thank-you. I don't want to hurt my sister or her son (my nephew), with whom I have an excellent relationship, but I don't want to give Nina a gift for her wedding. What do you say? -- Trying To Be Absent-Minded in California Dear California: We say no dice. While many great-nieces would have jumped at a trip to Europe, most teenagers are reluctant to spend time with a relative they barely know. Nina was rather young when you last attempted to reach out to her. She's going to be a married woman now. Please give her one more chance.
Dear California, You have seen this person twice in her life. I quite frankly doubt that she remembers what you look like. While you may have an excellent relationship with your sister and her son, it is obvious that they have not taught your grand-niece enough manners to say thank you for a gift. Also, you have not mentioned even being invited to the wedding for which you feel some sort of obligation to send a gift. I don't feel you are obligated to send anything of the sort. Send a card.
Childfree Abby
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