Childfree Abby - The Only Thing Here, "Hurt and Sad", Is Your Ego21 March 2006Message ID: 1220kbh1l3t3f2a@news.supernews.com
Dear Abby: I have been married 15 years to a woman I have always placed on a pedestal. I recently learned that when she was single, she had an affair with a married man. I can't get it out of my head. Yes, she has been a good wife and mother to our two girls (ages 11 and 13), but I no longer have the respect for her that I once had. We recently got into an argument that escalated into name-calling, and I called her a "slut" because that's what I feel she is. She dated at least seven or eight other men before we married, and knowing she had sex with a married man, I'm sure I can safely assume that she had sex with the others. Our sex life is deteriorating. I feel I'm not making love to a "clean" woman, that she is used and dirty laundry. I told her she had cheated me the same as if I paid for a new car and then found out the dealer delivered a used one. I won't leave her because of the children, but I'm afraid I'll have a hard time staying even though I believe I love her. Please advise me before I go out of my mind. -- Hurt and Sad, Trenton, N.J. Dear Hurt and Sad: Hurt and sad? Imagine how she feels! Assuming that you are also Catholic, were you a virgin when you married your wife? Surely, the same rule applies to Catholic men as it does to Catholic women. If, after 15 years of solid marriage and two children, this is what your wife gets from the man who promised God he would love, honor and cherish her until death, frankly, I think she deserves better. Please, don't be a "martyr" and "stay because of the children." Unless you can find it in your heart to forgive (as your religion preaches), give the poor woman a break and go. Name-calling isn't going to fix this; psychological and religious counseling for you might. Your wife does not deserve the abuse you have heaped upon her.
DEAR ABBY Dear Shit for Brains, Oh Great Deity, Stop the Presses for this Astounding Revelation: Your wife had a life before she met you. Unless you sprang fully formed from a religious tract, I assume you had one too. Great Bald Headed Christ on a Moped, what exactly did you expect? That she spend her entire life in purdah before she married you? If she had dated seven or eight men after marrying you, I would say you had ground for some grievance, but Buddy, this isn't the case. After 15 years of good and solid marriage this is the treatment she gets from you about something that is ancient history! I would say that marrying you was a greater mistake than having an affair with a married man. The only thing here, "Sad and Hurt", is your pathetic excuse for an ego. Get over yourself. I disagree with my esteemed counterpart, your wife doesn't need your forgiveness. Instead, you should get down on your knees and beg hers for treating her in the manner you have. Then, hie thee down to the nearest confessional, if indeed you are Catholic, which I see nothing in your letter to say that you are, and beg the forgiveness of your God. I recall that there is something about "he that is without sin, let him cast the first stone" in your scripture. Should you choose not to, do your wife a favour and leave. She doesn't deserve the likes of you. Oh, and if it's purdah where you wish to find your next wife, I understand the Taliban has some openings.
Childfree Abby
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