Childfree Abby - Pissing Up A rope08 April 2006Message ID: 123fg3m44tsp51e@news.supernews.com
Dear Abby: I am married to "Chad". We have had a few rough years since our child came along. We went to counseling as long as Chad's parents paid for it, and even tried talking to the pastor of our church. Not a whole lot has changed. I know you recommend counseling for married people in trouble, but what do you suggest for those of us who can't afford it? -- Trying To Make It In Tucson Dear Trying: A program that has been mentioned before in my column, and has enjoyed much success, is Retrouvaille, which started in Canada in 1977 and is now offered in many countries. It is Catholic in origin and orientation, but is open to all married couples regardless of religious background. Retrouvaille consists of a weekend, followed by a series of 12 presentations over the following three months. It is not a spiritual retreat, a sensitivity group or a seminar. During the Retrouvaille program, which is run by three married couples and a priest, the "team couples" -- all of whom have experienced disillusionment, pain, anger and conflict in their own marriages -- share their personal struggles, reconciliation and healing. For more information on programs, call toll-free: 800-470-2230 or visit www.retrouvaille.org.
Dear Trying to Make it, There really isn't much I can add to my esteemed counterpart's advice except for this: You say that you have gone to counselling before, and "not a whole lot has changed." Now, it may be you just didn't have the right counsellor, or... Counselling is not a magic panacea for all marital ills. In reality, it can only do so much and only if both parties are committed to making change and fixing the relationship. If one is and one isn't, you are pissing up the proverbial rope. That said, examine your relationship, then make your decision.
Childfree Abby - thoughtfully
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