Childfree Abby - Rock The Boat06 June 2006Message ID: 128b9a71rifj029@news.supernews.com
Dear Abby: I am a 36-year-old female. I have been dating this guy I'll call "Louie" for more than two years. He never told me he had anyone else. But one day he let it slip that he had been living with this woman, "Grace," for more than 10 years. I'm not the type to break up a home. Had I known, I never would have dated him. By the time I found out, I was in love with Louie, and he said he felt the same about me. I never knew exactly where Louie lived or had his home phone number, but I did have his cell phone number. Whenever I'd call, it was either turned off or he wouldn't answer. Finally, I called information and got his home number, but I have never used it. Now, two years later, we have a child together. None of his family members knows about our little girl. He says he does not want anyone to know right now -- especially Grace. He says she would leave him, take half his belongings and sue him for alimony. He has given me less than $360 in child support since I gave birth. Louie says if I sue him for child support, things will get nasty. He says he will make my life a living hell. I hardly ever see him anymore. What is a woman supposed to do? I think he's afraid of Grace. I want to sue him for child support, and I have the papers filled out and sealed, but haven't mailed them yet for fear of what Louie might do. Please help me. -- Confused in Texas Dear Confused: By now, I hope you realize that the father of your child is married. There were many flashing red lights in your romance with Louie -- the first ones being that you didn't know where he lived and his unwillingness to give you a working phone number. I urge you to mail the papers you have filled out to the court today. Do it for your little girl, because it's the only way her deadbeat father will meet his obligations to her. Because he has threatened you, you need a lawyer to advise you. You may have to go to the police to make sure his threats are on record. It's a first step to getting a restraining order should you need one.
Dear Confused, In the first place, stop blaming Grace for all your ills. She had nothing to do with the fact that you made a choice to breed with a two-timing asshole - that was your choice and your choice alone. And while we are at it, whatever prevailed upon you to breed with some two-bit philanderer, who you knew was a two-bit philanderer in the first place? As my esteemed counterpart has stated, the red flags were everywhere - you didn't know where he lived, he didn't give you a phone number - and all of this was BEFORE the stick turned blue! "Grace" may well have an inkling of what is going on, or not. You may just be one of the more recent bits of fluff that Louie has on the side. Oh, you don't think that you are the only one that Louie is seeing, do you? It is more than likely that Louie has been sharing his "love" with any number of women. If Louie had seriously wanted to leave Grace he would have done so. He is staying there because he wants to stay there. The fact is, Louie is banking on the fact that you will keep quiet. As for your life being a living hell - what, pray tell, is it now? Let me tell you something: it is very likely that Louie is more afraid of you than he is of Grace (if indeed he was ever afraid of Grace at all). Louie is crapping his pants in fear that you will rock his little boat, as he has a lot more to lose than you do. Well, if you want some support for the kid, rock it you must. Grow a spine. Things will get nasty? Things are already nasty. Cover your bases as my counterpart has suggested and mail those papers.
Childfree Abby
|