Childfree Abby - Nothing is certain30 September 2006Message ID: 12ht27u9ml7d800@news.supernews.com
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing because I'm not sure who else to ask. I'm 22, in college, and I'm tired of having to defend what I want to do with my life. My major is liberal arts. I chose it only because I have no passion for any specific area. When family or friends ask what my major is and I tell them, they generally come back with something about majoring in "unemployment" or making sure I have a "backup plan" in case I don't find a rich husband. Abby, all I want is to be a mother to my future children and a wife to my husband. I'm tired of defending myself, and I'm beginning to think my desires are not normal. What can I say to people when they question me, and is what I want normal? -- UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST DEAR UNSURE: What you want is very normal. And the fact that you will complete your college education instead of settling for an "MRS" degree is good insurance for the future. But keep in mind that although your dream is to be a stay-at-home mother and wife, not everyone who marries winds up living that kind of life. Widowhood, divorce or a spouse's illness can change those plans in a flash and land a woman in the workplace -- where, by the way, a college degree and the breadth of knowledge you're acquiring in liberal arts will help you to succeed. Explain that the next time you are challenged.
Dear Slacker Let me tell you, turtledove, banking on marrying someone who will be rich enough to support you in the lifestyle in which you want to become accustomed is like buying a lottery ticket - sure, it's possible you will win, but it is damned improbable. There is this niggling little problem of having to support yourself until such time as you meet some jackass stupid enough to allow himself to be set up as a walking wallet. Dawg knows, there are enough of them around, but Sugarpie, but not all of them will be able to afford to keep you in luxury. Therefore, you will have to get off your arse and contribute to the family coffers to keep yourself in SUVs and pay the mortgage on the McMansion. Nothing in life is certain or fair, or certainly fair. Ever hear of Terry Hekker? Way back in 1980, four years before you were born, she wrote a book called "Ever Since Adam and Eve", celebrating the joys of being a stay-at-home wife and mother. "She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors. The book sold well, Hekker appeared on all the TV prime-time chat shows and went on a national tour." Twenty-five years later, on their 40th anniversary, her husband dumped her in favour of a trophy wife. Her life changed overnight, from affluent matron to food stamp recipient. The judge at the divorce proceedings suggested that at age 67, she go for job training. She had to pawn her wedding rings to repair her home. She is planning a second book - entitled "Disregard the First Book". You might want to look it, and her up. In the words of Brette McWhorter Sember, 'Any young woman who didn't acquire skills to earn money for herself is taking a huge risk. It is not just divorce, though. After all, your husband could die.' So with that in mind, Sunflower, get the lead out, and get the skills to earn a living, and keep them sharp.
Childfree Abby
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