Childfree Abby - Children at the Wedding ad infinitum01 October 2006Message ID: oRRTg.10227$6S3.3861@newssvr25.news.prodigy.net
DEAR ABBY: My older sister, "Alia," is being married in November at a fancy resort. Her fiance manages the place, so they are getting a reception for next to nothing. Because it is a nighttime, black-tie affair, Alia prefers to have no children at the reception. Children will be welcome at the church, and baby sitters will be provided during the reception afterward. Furthermore, the children will be treated to a pizza party, games and movies. Alia has never related well to children, but she doesn't want to offend anyone. However, my "Aunt Julia" (who has three small children) has gotten wind of this, called Alia and chewed her out, and said her children go "everywhere" with her and that excluding them is an "insult." (These are the same kids who ran wild at our cousin's wedding last month, and one of them spilled red wine on Alia's bridesmaid dress.) Is my sister being rude by excluding children from the reception? Our little sister, "Emily," is 9, and she will be in the children's room and not at the main reception. (And frankly, she's more excited about that than anything.) Please advise, because Alia is sensitive and doesn't want to offend people. -- CARING SISTER, KENTWOOD, MICH. DEAR CARING SISTER: If your sister wants an adults-only wedding reception, then she's entitled to have one. Aunt Julia was out of line to criticize. The bride is being more than gracious, and providing generously for the children's supervision and entertainment after the ceremony. And if Aunt Julia feels she cannot be separated from her little angels for even a few hours, then she should attend the children's reception with them.
Dear Caring Sister, Your sister, as my esteemed counterpart has already pointed out, is entitled to have an adults only reception and Aunt Julia was severely out of line. Therefore, kindly clip out the following letter and post it to your Aunt. Dear Julia, Though it may come as a great shock, you are not the only woman in history to have given birth. The act is, in fact, quite common and considering the behaviour of your issue at the last family wedding, in your case the act would have been better honoured in the omission than in the observation. At last family wedding and, no doubt, many family functions before that, your hellions left a swath of destruction that would have rivalled Attila the Hun on a good day. Throughout the festivities your lack of any form of parenting skills was painfully obvious as you were painfully oblivious to havoc being wrought around you. Therefore, it really should come as no surprise whatsoever that no one in your immediate or extended family wishes to be reminded of the three times you had sex. No, your children will not be at the reception. Period. Full Stop. Alia has bent over backwards providing care givers, pizza and games for all the children. If you wish, you can stay at the children's party, or better still, don't come at all. I wish I could say that you would be missed, but it would be a lie. In closing, I cordially invite you to Fuck Off and Die.
On behalf of your nieces,
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