Childfree Abby - Family Values15 October 2006Message ID: 12j4hnqe1mv6u0a@news.supernews.com
Dear Abby: Is it OK for two brothers (in the range of 40 years old) to sleep in the same bed? My husband says he is very close to his family. I sleep alone in our bed almost every night because my husband falls asleep on the couch a lot watching TV. He and his brother were watching a game the other night in his brother's room. (Unfortunately, he lives with us almost year-round.) They were on the bed and fell asleep there. I should mention that their mother is very "touchy-feely" with them and often sits next to them, caressing her sons' inner thighs. What is wrong with this picture? If I mention anything about this, my husband gets very angry, as he is the "controlling" type. -- Feeling Ill in Illinois Dear Feeling Ill: If your intuition is telling you that "something" is wrong, then you should listen and act upon it. What's clear from your letter is that you're unhappy and unsatisfied in your marriage, with good reason. For a 40-year-old man to spend almost every night sleeping on the couch instead of with his wife is highly unusual, and the reason usually isn't that what's on television is so compelling he can't drag himself into the bedroom. You should consult a family therapist pronto. And if your husband won't go with you, go without him.
Wife unhappy, with good reason
Dear Feeling Ill, It is time to face the facts: The family you have married into has added whole new dimensions to the term "Close Family Relations". It doesn't take a genius to realize that your husband, his brother and his mother are engaging in acts reported to be common in certain areas of Tasmania, the Ozarks and South Mountain in the Annapolis Valley. In these places, "family values" means "the family that bonks together stays together". Even if they haven't crossed the physical line (and that seems very unlikely) the Ick Factor here is so far off the charts it can't be measured. Your husband's defensive "anger" when this highly peculiar state of affairs is remarked upon is a classic symptom of someone who knows full well the situation is very, very sick. To be quite blunt, I wonder how you eat lunch in the same room as this bunch of loons and manage to keep it down. My advice is quite simple: You don't need to see a therapist. Don't walk, run to a divorce lawyer, and leave this ménage à trois to their own "devices".
Childfree Abby
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