Childfree Abby - Where There Is A Will, There Is A Jackass24 October 2006Message ID: 12jt97970l3htef@news.supernews.com
Dear Annie: My wife and I retired six months ago, and shortly after, we each made a will, leaving everything to each other. This is a second marriage for us both, and I have three adult children from my first marriage. I had some second thoughts and discussed the will with my sister. At her urging, I changed it, leaving everything equally to my wife, three children and my younger brother. (He is constantly in financial trouble.) My wife does not know about the change, and I don't know how to tell her. She has a small pension and is not yet old enough for Social Security. Under the terms of the new will, she would have to sell our house and split the proceeds. There is no way she would be able to buy another house, much less live on her pension. My sister assures me I am doing the right thing, since my children and my brother should come first. I am afraid if my wife finds out, she will divorce me. Fifteen years ago, right before we got married, she sold her house so we could make the down payment on this one. I know she considers the house to be hers and mine, not my family's. Please help me sort through this. -- Confused in Mississippi Dear Confused: Oh, no, no, no. Stop talking to your sister. She is 100 percent wrong. Your brother and adult children do NOT come before your wife. You have an obligation to provide for her before anyone else. If you want to leave more for your children and your brother, fine, but discuss it with your wife first. At the very least, if you die, the house should belong entirely to her. We strongly urge you to legally void that second will immediately. Then tell your wife you would like to make revisions to the original will, explain why, and see a lawyer. Together.
Dear Spineless Wonder, Let's clear things up right now. You are not confused. You are trying to screw your wife out of the security she needs and counts on should you kack before she does and you know it. You are writing because you are feeling guilty and you want "permission" to do so. Let me guess: Your sister doesn't like your wife very much does she? Your lame-ass brother doesn't need the money. He needs to learn responsibility. If you hand it over to your fraternal moron you will only be pissing up the proverbial rope; he will blow it faster than Northern Dancer on Derby Day. If you want to leave your kids mementos, fine. Beyond that, you owe them nothing. Your wife looks on that house as hers and yours because it is hers and yours. Listen up, you sorry-ass wimp, she sold her home, her own security to finance that house in which you both now live. Morally and ethically your family has no claim on it. Why she did not insist on both your names on the deed is beyond me. But then, dirtbag, she trusts you, however misplaced that trust now seems to be. Face it, dude. You have betrayed your wife. You have betrayed her trust. And you have the nerve to whine that she will divorce you if she finds out? Well, time to 'fess up, take your lumps and pray to dawg that she forgives you. Then, as my esteemed counterpart says, hie thee to a lawyer and get that will changed, and with your wife. For her sake, and her security, I hope she does divorce you, and takes the house and 50% of everything else you own. You can always go live with your sister.
Childfree Abby
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