Childfree Abby - It's Not The Crown Jewels25 October 2006Message ID: 12juqpobp30af20@news.supernews.com
DEAR ELLIE: Last year when my husband and I got married, two of my five sisters didn't come because we hadn't invited the 14 nieces and nephews. Six months later, our mom died. Our amazing older sister had taken mom into her home and had been her caregiver. She was the beneficiary of $15,000; she spent $9,000 on funeral costs. Two days after the funeral, the two sisters who'd been upset with me expressed anger that our older sister was keeping the remainder of the money. I said I was happy for her. We're all over 40, yet everybody's afraid to confront these two bullies. What can I do? --STILL GRIEVING DEAR STILL GRIEVING: Family rifts are often heightened during bereavement, and legacy money is often a trigger. In different ways, everyone has felt the loss, and these two sisters were already allied as attention-seekers. The bequeathed money, from their view, represents their being left out. You and your older sister shouldn't change your late mother's will. Your sisters' bullying needs to be met with strength and confidence that you're doing the right thing and not just reacting against these two.
Dear Grieving, It doesn't take Einstein to figure out that your two sisters are the entitlement bitches from hell (not to mention that they seem to reproduce like rabbits, but that's fodder for another day). I'm willing to bet good money that neither of these two jumped up to offer respite care to your sister during your mother's declining years either. Your sisters will continue whinging until someone steps up to the plate and puts them in their place. Remember though, you are not responsible for how they choose to make themselves feel. They chose to get their knickers in a twist over this and no one else. They could have just as easily have chosen to let this go. My esteemed counterpart is correct in that the three of you must present a united front. That said, the next time they start in, grow some spine and put them in their place. "Listen you two, you are over 40 years old and you are acting like two year olds. This will represents Mother's wishes, and they should be respected. Get a frigging grip, its not the crown jewels, it is a lousy 6000.00. I certainly don't begrudge our sister that paltry sum because she took care of Mother 24 hours a day for -(however long Mother lived with her) and neither should you. The tantrum that the two of you are throwing is a disgrace and certainly shows no respect to Mother's memory. Grow up already. The subject is now closed." After that, simply refuse to discuss the topic any further. Repeat "the subject is now closed" as often as necessary.
Childfree Abby - resolutely
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