Childfree Abby - The Consequences of Stupidity01 November 2006Message ID: 12khcmm82elfua3@news.supernews.com
Dear Annie: "Susan" and I have been married for 20 years and have three children. The problem is, I made a huge mistake, and now my wife wants a divorce. Last year, I took it upon myself to buy our kids Christmas presents online and opened up a few new charge accounts. When I filled out the credit applications, I used both my information and Susan's, because my credit rating isn't good enough. Of course, the bills came in Susan's name. Fearing this would upset her, I'd get to the mail first and pay these bills on my own. Of course, Susan eventually found out and is devastated. I felt guilty from the beginning but was afraid to say anything. Annie, I know it was wrong, but at the time I didn't think it through. I've apologized to Susan over and over, and told her I am willing to go to counseling or whatever it takes to save my marriage. I love my wife and my kids and would hate to throw everything away due to my stupid mistakes. How can I save my marriage? -- Heartbroken in Hartford Dear Hartford: You made a very big miscalculation -- and it wasn't the money. It was betraying your wife's trust. Losing trust in a spouse goes to the very core of a marriage. We don't know if Susan will forgive you. But you have a 20-year marriage and three children in your favour, and we hope Susan will consider how a divorce will affect the kids. Ask her to go with you for counselling for their sake, and promise to take whatever lumps she throws in your direction.
Dear Hartford, I have read your letter over several times, and I must admit that I am in agreement with my esteemed counterpart; you have betrayed your wife's trust. Not only that, you endangered her credit rating. Furthermore, your excuse for this is you "didn't think it through." I am reading between the lines here and I think that there is a lot here that you have left out. Given the fact that your own credit rating is in the toilet, along with this current harebrained scheme, I strongly suspect that this is not the first time that you "didn't think it through." I further suspect that this most recent fiasco is, for your wife, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Contrary to what my esteemed counterpart thinks, I believe that your wife has likely thought this whole thing through very carefully. As my esteemed counterpart has further noted, you have a 20-year marriage here and one does not cast off a marriage of that duration on the spur of the moment. I am inclined to believe that your wife has decided, and with very good reason, you simply cannot be trusted: not now, and not ever. Your offer of counselling comes far too little and far too late. Your wife likely believes that to keep a roof over her head and that of your children, you have to go. I quite agree with her. Welcome to the consequences of stupidity.
Childfree Abby
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