Childfree Abby - Suffering In Silence10 March 2007Message ID: 12v5qnm4emki777@news.supernews.com
Dear Amy: My co-worker and I have taken breaks and lunches together since before he had his first son. Now that he has a child, all he talks about is his child. I can tell you how much it costs for day care, what the boy likes and dislikes, how he can pull himself up, etc. I'm single and don't have children. I'm really not excited about all this baby news. I am happy for him and his wife that the child is healthy, but I still like to talk about normal guy stuff. I would never be able to tell him because I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do? -- Tired of Baby Talk Dear Tired: For some dads, talking about their kids is "normal guy stuff," even if you don't think so. However, there is no question that some new parents can lose perspective -- along with the ability to have actual conversations instead of monologues. Your best strategy might be to listen for a brief time and then attempt to change the subject. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you if you saw the Bulls game last weekend?" He might reply, "Since the baby was born, I don't have time for any of that." You can then say that you miss some of your pre-baby talks and see if he picks up on your cue.
Dear Tired, As I see it, there are two ways out of this situation: 1) Find another lunch partner, or 2) Grow some spine and lay it on the line: "Dude, I'm glad your kid is healthy, but damn it to hell and back, can't you talk about anything else? Hey, yeah, daycare costs a lot, sucks to be you. I don't care about potty training, the consistency of his shit, or how he hates pureed spinach. I don't care that you bought this kid a stroller that costs more than my car or that your diaper bill exceeds the GNP of a several small African nations. I've heard enough about how he can now manage to roll over and drink out of a sippy cup. I. have. had. enough. The world for the rest of us does not revolve around you and your offspring. I don't want to hear about your kid again until he wins the Nobel Prize for Chemistry, cures cancer, or qualifies for an Olympic event in the sport of his choosing. Lunch with you has become like a root canal without anaesthetic." So, Tired, put up, or shut up.
Childfree Abby
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