Childfree Abby - Take Off Your Tin Foil Hat21 March 2007Message ID: 1302enacm0jcjf5@news.supernews.com
Dear Annie: My son and his wife provided me with a granddaughter last summer. Ever since the birth of this child, I've had the feeling my son is not the father. I was in the hospital when the baby was born and got to hold her shortly after birth. It felt as if I were holding a stranger. There were none of the emotions I felt the previous year, when my daughter provided me with a grandson. The shape of this child's eyes and feet bring to mind the children of my daughter-in-law's best friend. Their feet have widely separated toes, and so does my new granddaughter. Before my son and his wife moved into their current house, they lived next door to this friend and her husband. I strongly suspect the husband fathered this child. I am afraid of the possible ramifications of speaking up. Should I try and get a DNA test done without anyone knowing — just to put my mind at ease? -- Grandma Dear Grandma: You are jumping to conclusions based on very little. Many grandparents (even some parents) do not feel a strong emotional connection at birth. And, often, the features that make a child look like Mom or Dad aren't apparent for years. Whatever suspicions you may have, we urge you to put them out of your mind, say nothing, do nothing and try to love this child with all your heart. Any attempt to do otherwise could cause you to lose your relationship with your son. Even if you are right.
Dear Grandma, Please tell me you are joking. Oh, you're not. There are so many things that are just so wrong in your letter I don't know where to start. However, start I will: Just what the hell do you mean by "provided"? May I ask you who died and made you queen? "Providing" implies that you feel some sort of ownership here. Let me straighten you out: Children are not "property" and specifically they are not "your property". To speak of these children as being "provided" also implies that their parents were under some sort of obligation give you these children for your greater glory. To put it mildly, the tone of your letter is arrogant and entitlement-minded. Now you jump to the conclusion that your son is not the father of this child based because of the shape of her toes and that you did not feel some sort of spontaneous "Vulcan Mind Meld" at her birth. Maybe you should have taken off your tin foil hat; it might have improved the reception. Just to prove your point, you want to get a DNA test on the sly. What may I ask are you going to do with the results? Go charging in like the wrath of Dog? Get this straight: none of this is any of your damn business. You know, Toots, I really suspect that you don't like your daughter in law very much. I further suspect that you have never really accepted that your son got married and you are looking for any reason to sow the seeds of doubt between he and his wife. Your accusation and your reasoning are completely and utterly ludicrous. You are a vile old harridan who watches too many soap operas. If your son and daughter-in-law are smart, they will have nothing to do with you, ever.
Childfree Abby
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