Childfree Abby - Open Letter17 June 2007Message ID: 137bt70ijprec35@news.supernews.com
To the young woman I overheard the other day: I stood by in amazement today while you announced that a) you were moving in with your boyfriend; b) that you were afraid to go to the bathroom while he was in the house for fear you would gross him out and he would leave you. You further announced your plans to "hold everything" until such time that you were alone in the house or at work. However the story is not over: you are leaving on a trip with him, and can sit together on the way down, but are not guaranteed a seat together on the way back. You are afraid that your boyfriend will wind up sitting next to a woman and actually strike up a conversation with her. You have sworn that you will "scratch her eyes out" should this occur. You see nothing wrong with this. For the sake of your boyfriend, who for all I know may be a really great guy, don’t move in with him. He doesn’t deserve this. I don’t think that I should have to point out to you, (but I will anyway) that "holding everything" until the "coast is clear" is a physical impossibility. Then, of course, what are you going to do for four days a month? Run home to mother, or lock him out of the house? Now, with regard to the other points you have raised: If you can’t stand the thought the mere possibility of him being seated next to another woman for a 90-minute flight, just how the hell are you going to deal with everyday life? Unless you plan on locking him up, he is going to come into contact with (gasp!) other women. They walk down the street, they go to stores, they fill their cars up with gas or take the bus, and they have jobs. Some of them might even work at the same place he does. This is scaring you, isn’t it? What are you going to do? Follow him around all the time? Assault any woman who just happens to cross his path? My dear child, believe me: you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend leaving you because you take a crap on a regular basis. You have to worry about him leaving you because you are a flaming four-star whack job. Trust me, turtledove: if you keep this up, the only thing in your future is a man in a white coat, heavy doses of medication, and possibly jail time. Allow me to suggest three things: a) Grow Up b) Get Therapy. c) Get a Life. Accomplish both a, b and c before d) you consider moving in with anyone.
Childfree Abby
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