Childfree Abby - What's yours is mine and what's mine is me own22 June 2007Message ID: 137no0qhkn9kh1d@news.supernews.com
DEAR ELLIE: I've been with my fiancée for five years; we're getting married in July. My problem is the prenuptial agreement: She feels that after one year of marriage, she should own 30 percent of my house. I've put all my savings into it; I pay all the bills and do all the maintenance. I support her, and she has a very good job. She invests a lot of her pay, whereas my investment is in my home. She says she should not have to help clean or anything, unless she's put on the mortgage. I love her and plan for us to be together forever. But if things do go sour, I don't want to lose everything. Is that wrong? -- Unsure
Dear Unsure, If I were you I would postpone the wedding and seriously re-think this relationship. Not that I don't believe in pre-nups, I believe that they are like insurance - work out a fair and equitable one while heads are clear, and that way *if* the day ever comes that it is needed, everything is in writing and misunderstandings can be avoided. Note, however, that I said "fair and equitable". Given what you have presented above, what exactly are you guaranteed should this relationship go south? Perhaps you should have it written in that after 3 years, you get 30% of her investments? By the way, if she has a good job, why exactly are you supporting her? This tells me a lot right there: she seems to view you and your role in this relationship as a "walking wallet". Gawds help you if you ever have kids. Believe me, Sugar, this isn't going to improve without some major attitude adjustment on both your parts. You need to stop picking up after her (financially and otherwise) and grow some spine, and she has to learn about personal responsibility and TANSSTAAFL. All this needs to happen BEFORE you tie the knot. Get started and tell "Princess" that it is time to get off her arse and pull her own weight.
Childfree Abby
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